tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-85016038649757269992024-02-19T14:34:33.699-08:00Wordsmith WorkingUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger250125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501603864975726999.post-81468465599568099882013-01-14T10:48:00.002-08:002013-01-14T10:48:36.478-08:00Moved...I've moved: http://wordsmithworking.weebly.com/Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501603864975726999.post-14842672458152628442012-12-30T15:01:00.001-08:002012-12-30T15:01:44.643-08:0017 monthsDear girl,<br />
<br />
- You have almost all of your teeth, all but 8.<br />
- You're awesome eating has scaled back a bit. You sort of hate vegetables now.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501603864975726999.post-68110900485685629162012-12-30T10:14:00.000-08:002012-12-30T11:56:41.216-08:002012<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWGohuVAV6r6f1R3EBBHb206cZl6RkFtemdbd5zg93wTvD42Oqe9RvYQn4tLStWMXtBMYAq8dTXixIh0ZJINn_DvaAozc1nvkjnwDqy5wy1Teawtk9wDBwXgLymBSCfRUsUpWiIs60IAX0/s1600/2012clipart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWGohuVAV6r6f1R3EBBHb206cZl6RkFtemdbd5zg93wTvD42Oqe9RvYQn4tLStWMXtBMYAq8dTXixIh0ZJINn_DvaAozc1nvkjnwDqy5wy1Teawtk9wDBwXgLymBSCfRUsUpWiIs60IAX0/s200/2012clipart.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
January<br />
- We went to Idyllwild with the Savards and our pets.<br />
- I began another round of applications<br />
- Nora started daycare at Mindy's<br />
<br />
February<br />
- School started. Things got busy.<br />
- We walked a 5K with Nora<br />
- We all got so sick. It was crazy.<br />
- Mike went to Florida for a conference.<br />
- Mike got his melanoma diagnosis<br />
<br />
March<br />
- I started having some serious daycare/working mom/baby blues<br />
- Mike was cleared for melanoma!<br />
- I interviewed at ECC and made it to the 2nd round<br />
- I turned 36<br />
<br />
April<br />
- Full job interview craziness. Had 2 second interviews and calls for more interviews...and I got a job.<br />
- Went to an OnCourse conference<br />
<br />
May<br />
- Totally checked out of work. 9 years of adjuncting took its toll and self-care time began way early.<br />
- Had a wonderful Mother's Day<br />
- Just trying to make it through the semester<br />
<br />
June - August<br />
- The best summer of my life begins. Seriously. Swim lessons. BBQs. Concerts in the Park. Palm Desert with the family. Hotel Maya runs. Catching up with friends. All of it. <br />
<br />
September<br />
- Start new job. Back to bad habits of stress, but so damn lucky to have a job. It is amazing. It is an adjustment. It is crafting my identity somewhere quite different. It is new. I am new.<br />
- Mom guilt revs up, of course. Family Fridays aren't happening. Weekends are shift work.<br />
<br />
October/November<br />
- See September. <br />
- A girl's night here or there. A date night. <br />
- Europe groups meets to plan Mexico. I have hesitations and think it might be best to wait and plan for a better trip.<br />
- Many friend and family birthdays--a busy birthday season.<br />
- A getaway to Cambria. It was a blissful, much needed retreat.<br />
- Talk of a second baby begins, so do all the questions that come with it.<br />
<br />
December<br />
- The holiday party tour begins.<br />
- Finals<br />
- Mike decides he will do no to little work on Sundays.<br />
<br />
2012 was a tremendous year. I am so thankful everyone was healthy, especially Mike. I don't know what I would do. We had many blessings, like health, a job and a blissful summer. We also had stress, much of it brought upon ourselves, but we made it and we will resolve once again to be better people and better parents. I am so thankful for everything I have, but I am especially thankful for my Nora.<br />
<br />
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<br />
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<br />
<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501603864975726999.post-13033159269502155542012-12-29T14:04:00.001-08:002012-12-29T14:04:12.857-08:0013<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinPfaczo6CQPt9fd4TrxEzaENXkPDaZYHOwk0Yw9eJevONPxh3fStdn5uV3DqF81ypKF1usLEedQyId4_4_LYgj0QerW0rcuadSbTRrUK0Is7zWVVXMfDETfewA_1OI7147NzZZd9lGywi/s1600/Number13.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinPfaczo6CQPt9fd4TrxEzaENXkPDaZYHOwk0Yw9eJevONPxh3fStdn5uV3DqF81ypKF1usLEedQyId4_4_LYgj0QerW0rcuadSbTRrUK0Is7zWVVXMfDETfewA_1OI7147NzZZd9lGywi/s200/Number13.png" width="200" /></a></div>
My first apartment in LB was a #13. My mother was born on a 13th, as was my daughter. My first date with the man was on a 13th. 13, 5 and 26 are numbers that have not gone un-noticed in my mind, and I look forward to what 2013 brings as 2012 wraps up.<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501603864975726999.post-1318179996410595032012-12-07T09:46:00.001-08:002012-12-07T09:46:56.323-08:00Christmas Shopping<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
Wow. I started Christmas shopping today. This usually happens on the 20th or so. Adulthood, yo!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501603864975726999.post-77864338832304546302012-10-09T08:17:00.001-07:002012-10-09T09:15:45.927-07:00Week 7: Working Memory, Metacognition, Automaticity, oh myWe're reaching the half way point, and I feel lighter this week, today.<br />
<br />
My online class is going okay. We're in week 3 now and I'm learning some good stuff; however, I wish I had more time to implement it in my classes. Honestly, I'm BSing a lot of the exercises simply due to lack of time. I AM my students.<br />
<br />
I've had all four class observations now. I have confirmation that two were great. The other two, I think, were very good, but my committee members are lagging.<br />
<br />
I've had to take one day off due to being a tad overwhelmed, which is unfortunate, because now is the time when I could really take a day to recharge and give myself a break. But--hey--that's okay.<br />
<br />
The holidays are coming. I finally threw some little pumpkins on the mantel and we took babygirl to the pumpkin patch. She had a really rough month last month, but she's seemed to turn a corner lately. No teething. No pink eye. No diarrhea. I hope this phase lasts for a little while. The weekend we'll buy the big pumpkins and figure out some sort of Halloween outfit.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501603864975726999.post-12990423480913269942012-09-30T07:44:00.000-07:002012-09-30T07:44:34.149-07:00MeI'm taking part in a 6-week online course to develop good strategies to teach reading skills to college students. It's pretty interesting so far.<br />
In setting up my enrollment in the course, I had to upload a picture to my profile. I realized that I really don't have a photo of ME, just me, without a baby, without a husband. I haven't taken a photo like that in years.<br />
Something about that made me a little melancholy.<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501603864975726999.post-27596877396331871112012-09-28T08:33:00.003-07:002012-09-28T09:13:59.992-07:00Memory: 1987 Whittier QuakeI was 11. It was October 1st. In less than one year, we would leave that house behind. Life as we once knew it would end.<br />
<br />
But life was still intact, and I was sitting on the carpet in the hallway, my back against the wall. (Were the halls wallpapered? I can't recall. They probably were.) The carpet was green. It was shag, I think. Our dog Snoopy was outside. He was always outside; you rarely allowed him inside. <br />
<br />
It was 7:42. Were my brothers at school? I think so. Don was in high school. He was 18. It was his senior year. Pat had already graduated by then, off to work, maybe at Vons stocking shelves.<br />
<br />
You were across from me, in the bathroom. Were we talking, or was I just watching you through the frame of the bathroom door? Was I waiting to be taken to school? What did we talk about? That was our bathroom, me, Pat and Don's, but you were in there curling your hair, I think. Your hair was always short and your face had round features, a little like Gidget. If you were younger, like you used to be in those pictures I would look at from time to time, you would pass for Gidget's sister. You were not yet a Sally Field look-a-like to my 11-year old mind. Anyway, you were curling portions of your short, brown hair. You always used a lot of hairspray to keep it in place. You didn't have a laid-back hairstyle. It was always done, sprayed, round.<br />
<br />
The earthquake started with a violent shake and I scurried over to you to you. You were probably screaming. I know you were screaming. I remember. I grabbed your legs tight, my chest, my arms surround the bottom half of you. It was the last earthquake we would feel together there in that house in the fall of 1987.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501603864975726999.post-27998801856415957352012-09-27T13:33:00.003-07:002012-09-27T13:33:59.156-07:00You Read a Student Essay...... about how they grew up, and you just want to hug them and praise them for being HERE, and you want to hug your daughter and your husband and you want to be thankful, so thankful.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501603864975726999.post-65424770438165077032012-09-27T08:07:00.001-07:002012-09-27T08:19:37.071-07:00What Condition My Condition is In<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Week 5<br />
<br />
This has not been an amazing week.<br />
<br />
So what else has been going on?<br />
<br />
- Christy had her baby yesterday! Judy!<br />
- Nora has more teeth coming in. The last two weeks have been pretty rough with the heat, teeth and diarrhea. After dinner time has been altered accordingly and we've taken some lovely "walks" around up the street and back to take her mind off the annoying pain. She puts on her sunglasses and walks like a champ.<br />
- The man and I got out last Thursday night to see Sleepwalk with Me at the Art. It was a really good film. We grabbed some dinner at Lola's beforehand. Some time out alone was needed.<br />
- I'm painting my nails lately, don't ask me why. I find it a challenge to see how long the polish can last. Hohner gave me some good pointers. I'm sure I'll be over this phase soon.<br />
- We broke down and hired a dude to come in twice a month to clean up the immense pile of shit, otherwise known as our yard. It's the time of year when the oak sheds acorns like crazy. With that and the bougainvilleas, Mike needed some assistance. <br />
- Nora now watches teevee. We introduced it out of desperation during this whole teething fussy phase. She really doesn't like it that much, except for this show in the morning, Octonauts. It's all the little creatures out to save the planet---hippies! She likes it for some reason. It's sort of cute, even if her brain is slowly melting.<br />
- Two of my observations are done. They went fine. I've really taken this new job to a whole new level of stress and I need to really chill the fuck out or I'm not going to live a very long happy life.<br />
- I am enrolled in an online reading apprenticeship course. It seems low-key and easy. 6 weeks of my time for some credits. Or, maybe the "What's your favorite animal" question was a deceiving ploy to put us at ease before throwing us under the bus? My final is a 3 page paper. Hahahahahahahaha!<br />
- I've had to cancel my haircut appointment 3 times since school started. That chick must hate me. The good news is that tomorrow is my first Friday off this semester, but I'm too scared to make the appointment again. What if something comes up, like it always does? <br />
- My good friend A has been going through IVF. Her and I went through fertility issues together and she is still struggling. Myself and friends have had babies and all the little occasions that accompany babies. A has been an amazing trooper and friend. Yesterday, she had her eggs implanted. I hope something takes. I hope to spoil her and celebrate her. This is my wish for her.<br />
- We're subscribing to the NY Times now. I don't know how Mike finds the time.<br />
- Sunset magazine and Real Simple magazine can kiss my ass with their fall editions and their stews and pumpkins and bullshit. We are heading back into the heatwave this weekend. Another 90+ and humid stretch. This is killing me and my sunny disposition.<br />
- I finally slipped size 4 shoes on babygirl this AM. Where does she get these iddy bitty feet? I hope they don't slip off today. <br />
- I am walking up the street to have breakfast ALONE and to find my inner zen. I needed some time for me today to catch up and have "deep thoughts" and, well, to grade 120 papers and write about my favorite animal and find babygirl a Halloween outfit and do some grocery shopping, because my standards for healthy eating have been degraded to the frozen food section this last week. Pathetic.<br />
- The novels on my nightstand mock me.<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501603864975726999.post-22306263918823356322012-09-19T19:50:00.001-07:002012-09-19T19:51:20.686-07:00Here it is....<br />
I have two observations next week.<br />
I stupidly signed up for an all day conference in BFE for Friday.<br />
I start an online training course next week.<br />
My sweet baby girl is not "crazy, yo" but we've come to realize she's probably sick. Her diarrhea has gone on too long and it's not teething-related, we think. The man is calling in tomorrow to take her in.<br />
I just collected 120 papers.<br />
We did not solve the dog's itching. He's back to feasting on his paws. He smells.<br />
<br />
Shit be happening, literally and figuratively.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, I'm trying to do two things: Put baby down and only work for 90 min - 2 hours each night and paint my nails. <br />
<br />
I did find one silver lining in the week. Husband and I are going out tomorrow night with his colleagues to see Ira Glass' new film. Yip. Yip. Yippeeee.<br />
<br />
I miss my man. We're like two soldiers in a fox hole right now. It sucks. It is what it is (I hate that saying, almost as much as I hate when people use LOL.)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501603864975726999.post-75152095065534887802012-09-16T22:02:00.001-07:002012-09-16T22:02:06.277-07:00Ebbs and FlowsTonight, another baby sounds like a fine idea. Tomorrow, probably not.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501603864975726999.post-6277693881948686652012-09-14T19:15:00.000-07:002012-09-14T19:17:50.494-07:00Or, Put Her to Bed.It's funny how you can write such a loving entry one morning and a few days later you are just counting the minutes till she goes to bed.<br />
<br />
It's the heat. It's still so hot. So hot.<br />
<br />
I stopped by cousin Kim's today to catch up a bit and grab a sippy I left at her place a couple weeks ago. She let me know of some pretty sad family news and the burden her mom, my aunt, has to carry for our mothers' side of the family. Sometimes I wonder, what happened with those 6 kids. Two, including my mother, are certifiable. One is depressed and broken. One is sort of just a distant ass. The remaining two are good people. One of them is my Aunt Rita and she is left carrying the burdens of her siblings and their children, including bipolar disease, missing or disappeared relatives, drug-hazed nieces and nephews. I wonder what my role is. I know little is asked of me, with the girl and with our own family history, but the whole situation make me sad and wanting to help.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501603864975726999.post-88933673067182200172012-09-10T06:10:00.002-07:002012-09-10T06:15:56.362-07:006:04 amShe'll be up in 9-12 minutes.<br />
The shower is running, steaming up the already humid bathroom, the humid house.<br />
We've been up since 5:15.<br />
He walks the dog.<br />
I shower and get ready.<br />
He makes breakfast.<br />
We eat here in the office, strategizing the day.<br />
Now, he showers.<br />
Soon, we go in and get her and start the Monday of this week. The dress rehearsal.<br />
<br />
We're in a heat wave, but the wave will not pass, will not crest and fall into the cool.<br />
The AC clicks on.<br />
Her sound machine, a woosh, woosh, is audible in her room next door. Almost 14 months we've shared with her, with that sound machine too.<br />
She is so big now and happy and walking all over the house, grabbing car keys, tv remotes and old magazines, pointing with gusto and forming gibberish sentences that mean something so important we wish we could understand.<br />
Every minute counts with her and I have to catch myself on mornings like this one when I look at the clock and hope for another minute to get ready, to get packed, to get coffee. <br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501603864975726999.post-48052008638752523022012-08-31T20:58:00.001-07:002012-09-10T21:37:05.193-07:00The First WeekThe first week was full of some initial butterflies and some awkward introductions, but overall it was just fine. Once teaching started, I slipped into that mode, which set my mind into the normal start of semester concerns. Here are a few things I have noticed:<br />
<br />
- The division coordinator is swamped. She does it all by herself and this is pretty shocking considering the staffing at other schools.<br />
- The students seem like my other students. The amount of them--specifically the waitlisters--was scary. I'm not sure if there are more, or if these different rooms just make it seem like there are more.<br />
- My office is a big 70's burnt orange space. I am alone. Discussion of the mystery officemate has included a lot of huffs and eye rolls. I guess she's out on her 4th or 5th year of medical leave?<br />
- With stuff at home and at school, I have been lugging a shit load back and forth, including my computer. I didn't have one this week, but I know there will be one set up next week, so I can leave mine at home. Still, I have to figure out what to bring and take so I'm not such a pack mule.<br />
- Office Hours: Once papers hit, I think everyone will be less social, but I have realized that it is a bit social and maybe hard to get stuff done. I have to focus.<br />
- Meetings. Are there meetings? Does this department meet? Compared to my other campuses, this campus had no convocation. There is no schedule of department meetings. I asked a few people and they were like, "Umm. Maybe after a Division meeting, if there's anything to discuss?" So, I'm going to follow the low-profile vibe. I think the vibe is very kick back...or, they will start throwing meetings and committees around later???? It's a little....weird. But, hey, whatever.<br />
- The people. There are a few male colleagues who seem just downright awesome. They've made themselves very open and accommodating to any questions I have. I really appreciate it. I'm getting to know the women. They seem cool, but I haven't crossed paths with many. <br />
- I felt a little over dressed at first. A little Banana Republic in a land of hipsters or mom jeans. But, that has ebbed and flowed and, well, whatever.<br />
- The traffic. Effff. I thought having at tad later start two of the four mornings would afford me a bit of AM time with the girl before having to drop her off, but that has proven to be false. If I leave 30 minutes later, I'm in traffic about 50-60 minutes. My sanity can't handle that. The good news is that traffic home between 2 and 3 (my usual "out" times) is fine--a zip and a twirl home to her.<br />
- The four day work week is cool. I'm used to the 5 day week with a night class here, an online class there, etc. There was always time inbetween to tinker and change things. That is so not the case now. I sort of need to have my shit together by Sunday night. I need it to pretty much make sense all the way to Thursday. Now, I'm not complaining at all. I'm saying I need to change my prep habits a bit. I find that after getting home and chasing her around and making dinner and putting her to bed, I'm a little too tired to spend hours tinkering. That, and I shouldn't. So, I need to get the plan in action by Sunday. Seal it and move on.<br />
- The classes. I have 3 in the bag. One of the classes freaks me out a bit. It's like another course I've taught--a little wonky in its requirements. However, at this campus, that wonkiness is really highlighted. That, and one of my tenure committee people is the "expert" in this course. So, I'm just paranoid about this course and getting it right. I can't let that psyche out my teaching. I have to remember that this course is--essentially--a hybrid of two types of courses I am very good at teaching. I just need to wrap my head around the hybrid part.<br />
- I have been encouraged by the dean and the chair of my hiring committee to put my name in for literature classes. Interesting.<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501603864975726999.post-25515056799631371242012-08-25T22:17:00.000-07:002012-08-25T22:17:06.671-07:00Le mieux est l'ennemi du bienSemester M.O.<br />
<br />
Do not make the perfect the enemy of the good. Get shit done and spend time with babygirl and the man.<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501603864975726999.post-26453031826333187992012-08-17T21:47:00.000-07:002012-08-17T21:47:12.008-07:00Orient MeI'm in it now and what I'm told are the usual, <i>wtf, how did I get here</i> jitters are happening. I feel a lot of pressure to be someone I hope they hired. Courses start in about 10 days. 3 of my course syllabi are done, as are the first 2-3 weeks of plans. I'll work on the 4th course this weekend and take next week to add more to my plans. I also need to set up my office. I had hoped to have more ready, but--hey--I love my kid and my husband and I've taken this summer to enjoy them.<br />
<br />
I went through some training at my former college. I was suprised to meet some really cool ladies--all math teachers except for one English teacher. We really clicked.<br />
<br />
On the home front, our girl is taking steps now and she is getting her incisors in and her little gums are looking swollen. During a meeting today--the first one I've had--I got a call from daycare about giving her Tylenol. They never call about that stuff and she doesn't really get sick, so what timing and what a way to go back to work and miss her. I've ran into and met a number of women lately with disabled children and it's really been on my mind how fortunate we are that she's so healthy. I want her to have a life where she understands how fortunate she is in so many respects.<br />
<br />
We're scared to say it, but we think we've solved our mutt's ongoing (years) allergy problems. <br />
<br />
We're in this fucked up heat wave. Everyday is hot. Every. Day.<br />
<br />
I'm going to suck it up and join the girls for running every Saturday morning. I'm not aiming for the marathon like they are, but I'm bored with the gym and I have some serious stress to relieve.<br />
<br />
Because courses are stressing me out, I feel the need to write some more poems. Ha. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501603864975726999.post-55603795873486271992012-08-14T09:33:00.001-07:002012-08-14T09:33:23.418-07:00AugustThis has been a great month so far. What have we been up to?<br />
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We've known better than to buckle down on a few "work days." There will always be work days. Recently, we scratched our plans, packed ourselves in the car and wandered down to the port. Chicky had her first carousel ride and first bit of chocolate ice cream.<br />
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We've been hanging out with our neighbors A LOT. Between our four sets of neighbors, it seems like we are always at someone's home on a weekend afternoon or evening. Here is chicky and our neighbors' boy. We asked him to give her a kiss and he sweetly obliged.<br />
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We were lucky to get a sitter one recent night and head down to the local avenue and support the new wine bar. What a cool city we live in. We met other locals who also came to support this new independent business.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501603864975726999.post-69892867546142526352012-08-14T09:23:00.002-07:002012-08-14T09:34:46.201-07:00End O' Summer DateIt's about two weeks till school starts. Sigh.<br />
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Today, the man and I are heading out for our "last gasp of summer" day o' fun date. Sure, we have a day or two of fun left with the girl, but this day is for US. He's still riding out all those insane department commitments he made so long ago; we know this fall will be hard on our free time. So, we're hopping on this and stopping in various city locales to try a drink or a bite and wander.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501603864975726999.post-34456940043077838222012-07-29T11:00:00.000-07:002012-07-29T11:03:01.440-07:00A "decent" start. More to do.It's not yet August and I have a fairly capable draft of my pre-composition course. Earlier, when ponies rode rainbows, I planned to have the draft done by the end of June. What is lost now are the little preps I hoped to do, like prompts and a few lessons. <br />
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<b>Pre-Comp Goals:</b> Here's what I want for pre-comp. Maybe I can accomplish some of it, but I am waiting for some pointers and feedback from colleagues who are on vacation.<br />
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- Have each unit tentatively laid out.<br />
- Have each prompt written.<br />
- Get portal access.<br />
- Set up DLAs<br />
- Have reading notes for 1/2 the assigned essays.<br />
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<b>What deadlines loom?</b><br />
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- August 8: Lit class syllabus done.<br />
- August 16: Comp class syllabus done.<br />
- August 17: Make copies of syllabi, set up office, orientation<br />
- August 20: Also another day to finish 17th work. Another orientation.<br />
- August 17 - 26: Write prompts and some lessons<br />
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<b>Remaining Fun?</b><br />
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- I am part of a summer institiute for developmental educ. Training starts in August.<br />
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Basically, summer's over, yo.<br />
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Tech Fast Update: It is hard, but I am trying. <br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501603864975726999.post-81472679986715385392012-07-26T21:59:00.000-07:002012-07-26T21:59:02.368-07:00FastingI'm thinking about an iPhone, FB, Interwebs fast until my syllabi are done...or, more realistically, for the next 7 days. I'm feeling too connected and, yet, disconnected. Too all over the place. Too un-centered. Gadgets have something to do with this. I think a little yoga and morning meditation might help too. I've been pretty anxious in general lately, likely about the job and July slipping into August.<br />
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See ya on the other side with some thoughts.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501603864975726999.post-12575709170207565502012-07-12T20:20:00.000-07:002012-07-16T20:24:50.330-07:0011 months<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Month 11. What fun.<br />
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Dear girl, we're going places this month.<br />
What have you been up to in month 11?<br />
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<ul>
<li>Mom has the summer off, so you're spending a lot more time together.</li>
<li>You spent Father's Day with dad and grandpa. We went to the park and fed the ducks.</li>
<li>You went to dad's work bbq. It was the first time you tolerated grass, and we let you crawl all over the yard.</li>
<li>You went to the Santa Ana Zoo with mom, dad and grandpa. You loved all the monkeys. We didn't bring enough puffs and you wanted MORE PUFFS.</li>
<li>You had your first mommy and me swim lesson. You liked it. You talked a LOT to all the other babies.</li>
<li>You went to Jack's 4th birthday party. It was a lovely park day and you hung out on the blanket with Leila and Cassie and the gang.</li>
<li>You went with mom, Lisa and Clare to Carpenteria for a few days of living easy at the beach. You loved the ocean waves rolling in and over your little legs. You ate like a champ and slept well. You even napped on mom--something you hadn't done in many months. Sweet.</li>
<li>You had your first 4th of July. We put you in the cutest little outfit and took you to Hale and Norma's for a little afternoon bbq. Later we went home, and the fireworks did not wake you. You are still a good sleeper.</li>
<li>You went to cousin Max's All Star Game and your cousins, Maggie and Meridian, couldn't get enough of you.</li>
<li>You went to a concert in the park with all our friends and neighbors. You had a great time.</li>
<li>You've added some words to your vocabulary: mama!, hi, and ball.</li>
<li>The day before you turned one, you stood on your own for about 5 seconds!</li>
<li>You are almost off formula. It's lots of sippy cups, milk and water.</li>
<li>You are off all baby food. We sit down to dinner together around 5:30 every night--you in your highchair and Dad and Mom at the table. You eat pretty much anything we eat, though you love some foods more than others, of course. You LOVE strawberries. </li>
<li>You have six teeth! You drool all the time.</li>
<li>You still take two naps and you still sleep like a champ at night.</li>
<li>You love your wooden blocks and balls. You love books. </li>
<li>You seem to use your left hand a lot, but it's too early to tell.</li>
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We love you, Nora.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501603864975726999.post-46823093807436256772012-07-12T08:50:00.003-07:002012-07-12T09:33:09.786-07:00This Time a Year AgoIt was 6 am. I was sitting on this very couch--miserable and confused.<br />
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The day before, July 11th, around 4 in the afternoon I started what seemed like repeating muscle tension. I was in the kitchen, making some sort of meal and I remember thinking that maybe this was it, the beginning. Nora was almost two weeks late. Her original due date was July 1st. Later, July 4th. <br />
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Here I was on July 11th going a little stir crazy and hoping this was the beginning of it all. I would wake up every morning, look at Mike and say, "Still pregnant." That line became less funny as the days wore on. Afternoons were tough. When still nothing happened, I would go into the nursery, take her clothes out of the drawers and refold them, wondering if it was ever going to happen. We had a fun guessing game with friends--about the due date. The guessed dates were in late June. Early July. Lots of July 4th guesses. There was one odd July 13th guess. I remember laughing at the time and thinking something like, "God, that would be insane." <br />
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Here I was.<br />
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As the afternoon gave way to early evening, the tension turned into contractions and we started noting the time intervals. 10 minutes. 8 minutes. 6 minutes. We passed the time watching re-runs of <i>The Office</i>. As the pain levels increased, Mike decided to take Moses to the Carrs. This was probably it. We didn't call anyone else just yet.<br />
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We took out the exercise ball. We recalled our Lamaze strategies. The contractions became a little more intense. We heeved. We hooed. I missed Moses being in the house. The television shows were done, so we moved on to a documentary--<i>Beer Wars</i>. I began circling the living room, stopping at the fireplace mantel to ride out the contractions. We called the hospital. If the contractions kept up and the intervals were shorter, we were to come in.<br />
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<i>Beer Wars</i> gave way to <i>Planet Earth</i>. This part is fuzzy. I remember the jungle. Or, was it the grasslands? I don't recall. The pain was increasing. I texted my brother, my cousin, Ashlea. We called our parents and let them know we were going to the hospital. Off we went.<br />
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I recall painful contractions as we walked up to the hospital entry around 1:30 am--lots of slow walking and leaning over. I recall them when I was sitting in the check-in office with the nurse. Then, I recall things easing up, just in time for the doctor who arrived. He walked in and I smiled hello and after a brief check, he told me I was not in real labor. He said, "People in labor do not smile." I was about 2 cm. The labor center was also at high capacity. He told me to come back tomorrow morning for my appointment with my midwife. <br />
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My heart sunk.<br />
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It was 3 am. Like clockwork, the contractions started up when we got in the car. <span style="background-color: white;">I cried the whole drive home.</span><span style="background-color: white;"> </span><span style="background-color: white;">I remember crying as we passed the billboards on the 110. The 405 interchange. The Atlantic Ave. offramp. We tried to go to sleep, but I couldn't. The contractions were there, just as before. I got out of bed and trudged off to the office couch--this couch--where I spent one of the most confusing nights of my life. The contractions became more intense and came every 4-5 minutes. I would squeal on the couch and Mike would call from the bedroom to see if I was okay. He was angry about this whole process. I was a bit angry at him for being angry. I felt at fault. I was angry and confused. <i>How was this not labor?</i> If it's not labor, what is labor? </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">A few hours later and it was 7:00 am. We had a scheduled appointment in with the midwife at 8. It would be my 2nd stress test. If things hadn't progressed, I knew she would want to induce. I hoped I could convince her (someone. anyone) I was in labor. We had some coffee and cereal and headed back to the same hospital. I knew I probably wasn't supposed to eat, but I didn't care about protocol anymore. After all, they said I wasn't in labor. I probably cried some more during the drive back to Harbor City.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><br />
When my midwife came in to get me ready for the stress test, she could probably see the misery on my face. She did a quick check. At that point, my water broke. I was at 3 cm, almost 4. Thank god, I thought. I was vindicated. It WAS labor. They got me ready for a room. I texted Mike, who was waiting in the hall.<br />
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The time in the room was long, hazy, but also comes back to me in short, sporadic bursts. We labored. I sat on the bed. I hated sitting on the bed. We walked a bit. I leaned over the bed. Mike tried some lamaze tricks. He took out the picture of Moses, which was supposed to comfort me. I stopped wanting to be touched. Only hand holding worked. Around noon I couldn't concentrate. I couldn't listen to Mike. I couldn't speak very well. The contractions were strong. It felt like the area between my stomach and my thighs was going to rip apart. I was getting scared. It was around this time that we asked for an epidural. I was at 6. It was as far as I could go.<br />
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We waited a bit and it finally came. Relief. I slept. It was at this point that Mike's mom showed up. Sometime that afternoon I woke up and things were still moving along, but much more slowly. For me--at least--it is so true that the epidural slows down the whole process. My cousins and aunt were in the waiting room. They came and they went. My labor was looking to be a long process.<br />
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Nurses came and went. Shift changes happened. I lost my midwife. She was going home for the day. The nurses we liked went home. New ones came. As we moved into the evening, I was approaching 8 or 9 cm. Things were moving along.<br />
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Then I stalled. I stalled for hours, into the night. Doctors came and went and checked me and gave me a concerned look. I wanted to try, I told them. Please. <br />
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We tried pitocin. The hills and valleys on the machine grew to such an extent that I didn't want to look. Finally, around 3:30 or so in the morning, it was time to push. I wish I remember her name. We had the best nurse. The best. She was as determined as I was to get Nora out. We pushed. She noted problems. We readjusted. We pushed some more. "I can see her head, her ears!" she would say, cheering me on. I pushed some more. Another doctor came in. The nurse said, "No, we can do this." The doctor left. We kept pushing. She said I was pushing great, but after every tiny bit of pushing progress, Nora would retreat. Her head was sideways, the conclusion came. It was another obstacle we thought we could overcome. We pushed some more. I was getting very tired.<br />
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I can't remember when, whether it was after another doctor came in or before, but at some point early that morning, they came into the room and rolled out the baby warmer. I will always remember that. My heart sunk. What I pictured was going to happen wouldn't, and I was going to be another cesarian statistic. When the doctor finally came and made the call, I was somewhat relieved. I didn't have much energy left. They moved me to the front of the queue for surgery. After 30+ hours of labor, it was time.<br />
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I remember shaking, tremor-like.. I remember asking the aesthetician to make me as numb as possible--to up my dosage. I remember being so scared. My arms were spread out, like on a cross. A sheet separated my head from the rest of my body. When Mike finally came in, I was so relieved. I wanted him close to my face, so close his breath would warm it. I was cold and shaky and nauseous and I didn't want his face to leave mine. I remember that Nora was lodged in pretty well, so they had to pull pretty hard. I remember the radio playing. I remember them talking. I remember pulling and then a cry. The cry sounded so mellow; I wondered if she was okay. Later, Mike would tell me it was a very loud scream. I was out of it. When they brought her to me, I didn't feel much. I felt sick and I didn't know what to make of it. It would be a few hours later till I would realize the extent of it all and really see her for the first time.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501603864975726999.post-67556436496006094402012-07-06T20:41:00.003-07:002012-07-12T09:03:07.379-07:00A Friday Night in JulyIt's 8:39 pm. The radio is on. Cars are zooming by. I just made a cup of chai tea to assist me in sitting down to clear out my 101 files.<br />
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I can't believe it is July. I'm having one of the most relaxing summers of my life.<br />
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Still, there are thoughts.<br />
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1) Reading: I feel a little too on the computer. I need to read more. <br />
2) The Job: I need to get crackin'. Going through my files has taken MUCH longer than I anticipated.<br />
3) The Party: I wish it were small. I wish it were small. I wish it were small.<br />
4) Photography and Gardening and Cooking: Three things I would like to practice.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8501603864975726999.post-45621470194264022202012-06-27T08:33:00.003-07:002012-06-27T08:33:45.391-07:00Words6/20: Mama<br />
6/27: Bye ByeUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0